Hope...less

I went for a fantastic run on Wednesday night. The kind of run that is invigorating rather than draining. The rain was pouring, there was a little wind and I just felt strong. It was during this run that I was very nearly hit head on. The white SUV actually drove out of it’s way to come at me and narrowly missed me. Funny thing was I paid little attention to this a kept on running. The run ended, I felt great but I again rubbed my nipple nubs down to nothing!


I still struggle, some times more than others, with the concept of God and his love for me. I am told he is there waiting and that he never leaves. Then why is it when I am in such a dark place he does not turn to take hold of me, restore me, comfort me. All I am is alone.

Wednesday was a hard day at the office. There has never been so much work and people are often less than kind. On that particular day I was told how F***ing useless I was, repeatedly. There were other phrases but they just get drowned out in the roar.

Hope is a glimmer that keeps man fighting to move forward. The spark does not need to be bright; but there needs to be something. It is hard to maintain hope when all around one sees futility and experiences despair.

In a Postmodern world, is faith to be actualized or simply chased after like a child after a bubble.