Unique?

I begin with a note of caution. The following is drafted under the influence of pain killers. Early this afternoon I had a painful procedure where I was injected repeatedly down back of my neck with a mixture of cortisol and xylocane. This time the physician gave me a prescription to ease the discomfort I will be feeling for the next fort-eight hours.

To follow the idea presented yesterday on esteem is the idea of individuality. Therapist and the like shout from the mountain about ones' uniqueness and we praise the individual. Then we say "don't stick out in a crowd" or " Don't speak your mind especially if it challenges the social norm". "Wear the same clothes and for all that is good and just make sure your lawn is cut promptly".

Yesterday it was discussed how esteem based on "doing right" is doomed for failure. Today I shall briefly discuss how attempting to be a sheep is degrading to ones' sense of self.

I am unable to differentiate myself from those around me when I simply tote the current ideas and beliefs of the crowd. When I cease to have a voice, that is exercised in what I do, say, think or believe something dies. Sounds overly dramatic no? It's true though. Self dies in the presence of conformity. As all living things, the self needs the opportunity to test its self. Attempting to understand why it believes as it does,= and why its adopting a style of life the way it is. When we are forced to ponder all that is life and step into that mode of living we come to know ourself. It is then that we become an individual and I know where I begin and end and where you begin (the act of self differentiation).

I believe that it is through this process of knowing self where our esteem is feed.

I also realize that many times one may have an idea that is shared by the broad whole. This does not necessarily mean that one should doubt the idea of being an individual. Yet the person needs to understand why it is that they are so ready to adopt this way of being. I think religion is a great example here. It would seem that many people subscribe to a religious ideology. Yet when they are asked or when their behaviour is observed there is an incongruity. Some Muslims say that Islam is a faith of peace, why is it then that there is a group within who seeks violence and destruction? Christianity is no different. Many people subscribe to believing that God exists yet they hold to ideas that are inconsistent with scripture. Anyway I digress.

The beginnings of esteem is knowing ones' self.